Feeling like a failure

It has been over a month since my last post and I honestly don't have ANY good news... I feel like such a failure for not being able to lose weight or follow a stupid diet...
Who would have thought losing weight would be so damn hard!!!  :(
...but there will always be another chance and that's what I'm taking right now...
The summer months were HORRIBLE... not only did I eat like a pig, but also I was lazy and didn't exercise at all...
Obviously I gained a few pounds and for a moment I even lost all the hope I had for getting back in track...
BUT.. I'm back.. ready to start all over again and do this...
I am now at 174 lbs (boo!) and further away from my goal, but I have decided that I will set monthly goals rather than a final goal.
This month I WILL LOSE 7-10 LBS, that is a promise to myself and I really hope to keep it for my own benefit...
I re-started my diet again today and will also start some sort of exercise routine, which will serve my purpose!
Wish me luck! ;)

August: Diet reloaded

I've been horrible about keeping up with my diet blog since my eating habits SUCKED during the whole month of July...

I was weak, I was a cheater, I failed! I've managed to stay below the 170 mark, which I hate, but I'm still struggling to lose weight and keep it off...

I'm currently at 167, usually oscillating between 165-168... it's not ideal, but it's better than the 180 I was nearing when I started this journey...

Today is August 2nd and I've re-started my diet as of this month.. Yesterday I felt sick so I didn't eat much (the only good thing about feeling sick, ha!)..Today I've stuck to my guns and have followed my no carb, low fat routine...

I hope I can keep it up for another 2 months and lose another 15 lbs... I hate feeling snug in my jeans and other clothing...

I promise I'll post pictures soon! ;)

...it's looking good!

..yes, yes, yes! My diet is looking good.. I'm back on a "losing streak", which is awesome! I have lost 1 pound this week, which is great considering I haven't really made a HUGE effort...or none at all to be honest!

I'm sort of giving myself a break since July is a crazy birthday month for us, which translates into a lot cake, sweets and other unhealthy (hence yummy) stuff.. oh well.. it happens!

I have officially abandoned my EXTREME diet and will now go on Weight Watchers once this month is over...

My goal is to be at 160 by the end of August, which will leave another 30 lbs to be lost by the end of the year.. totally doable! ;)

Wish me luck!

Back on the "green" path...

Ok.. I have done it! I'm back on the "green" path.. that's what I called my vegetable eating frenzy... I know it works so I'm going to do it..

My goal is to lose 3 to 5 lbs by next Sunday, when we will be celebrating the girls' birthday party.. I really hope I can do this...it sounds super extreme, but I know from experience that is is doable..

Losing over 2.5 lbs per week is classified as "extreme weight loss", it usually happens when the body is shocked by drastically changing the food intake (by amount and kind)... I have cut back on carbs (again!) and will do protein ONLY during the next week! Wish me luck!

Also, for people who wish to diet and do something "extreme", my advice is DO NOT STARVE yourself... go to a vitamin shop and look into natural fillers or natural pills to suppress your appetite.. feeling hungry IS NOT ideal nor healthy so it's a good idea to "cheat" the body with natural supplements!

Good luck and Happy Dieting everyone!

Diet failure

Ok! The last week or so has been super challenging in my diet world! I feel like such a failure for not sticking to my food routine....

Granted, July is a busy birthday month for us, so there's always cake, sweets and some other yummy (and fattening)food... so, I have sinned.. I have failed in sticking to my diet.. oh well! It happens!

I have gained 1 or 2 lbs and it makes me so mad! I know I need to get back on the wagon and follow my dreams of a skinnier me!

I just wanted to post about my failures, because people who diet need to understand that this is NOT easy at all.. it is an UPHILL battle... it is a PAIN IN THE BUTT! oh well.. you get the picture!

Happy dieting everyone!

It has been a month!

It has a been a month (and 2 days) since I started my (in)famous diet!

There have been ups and downs (more downs lately).. and the process only gets harder...

It is such a grueling journey, and so boring!!

I have to admit I have NOT followed my diet as the doctor suggested initially.. I have, however, been counting calories... and I have been able to remain between 1000-15000 calories a day...

Still no rice, grains or carbs.. (although I did have a hamburger yesterday, lol)...

I have lost about 14 lbs, which puts me closer to my goal..

I'm hanging in there.. I need to get back on the "strict" wagon though!

Falling off the wagon??

This weekend was a BUST in the diet department.. I feel so guilty but I have to admit that I CHEATED... BIG TIME... boo!!!

I knew this wouldn't be easy, but I still feel like a failure for having cheated....

I had plantains on Friday (yum!)... and then on Saturday I had a piece of CAKE!! (shame on me!).. I went to a birthday party and just couldn't resist.. I guess the fat me got the best of it! ha ha! The cake was delicious and I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Then on Sunday I cheated AGAIN!! I had pop corn at the movies and also a few Raisinets...how horrible is that?? ha ha!

I hope I get the motivation to start exercising this week.. I think that's where the problem lies... I need to get moving!!

Anyways.. I probably won't have a weigh-in this week because I feel so guilty over my cheating.. and I don't want to see that I gained weight (most likely).. so I'll skip it this week!

I will start taking pictures this week and maybe do a weight loss progression?? We'll see!

Thanks for reading!

Week 3 weigh-in...

Yesterday was my 3rd weigh-in.. I lost another 3 lbs, which put me at -13 lbs since I started this diet..

I met with my counselor and told her I am NOT using the appetite suppressants anymore; instead I will start to use a natural filler, which I am supposed to take one hour before each meal...

I've been very close to falling off the wagon and in fact I HAVE, a little bit!

On Sunday I had an "arepa" (corn cake) for Father's Day breakfast and last night I had some "fried yuca" yikes! (not good)...

I have decided that I will not go to the doctor every week and will alter my diet a bit...Honestly I'm super bored with the food choices and I want to have a "normal" life as far as food goes...

After doing hard core dieting for 3 weeks, I've come to realize that I have a lot of self-control so I've decided I CAN eat like a normal person, as long as I can keep my food intake under control...

I have to be honest and say that I'm very discouraged with the diet because even though the scale does indicate some weight loss, I don't feel it in my body and I'm still wearing the same clothes size... so what's the deal!??

Week 2 weigh-in

I had my appointment at the center today and although I didn't lose as much weight as last week, the news are still good as I remain on the right path!

This week I lost another 3.7 lbs, which puts my total weight loss at almost 10 lbs (I guessed right)!

My BMI also decreased, which is good news, because less fat means more health, so that's always great!

I did convince the doctor to let me add tomatoes and black beans to my diet (yum!).. he said that isn't exactly optimal, but he also said he doesn't want me to get bored and anxious! (Thanks Doc!)

The counselor also said I need to start working out.. yuk! that's the part I hate the most.. but I do know I'm going to have to do some sort of exercise at some point! :(

My size 10 pants are already feeling loose and I can fit into a size 8 (granted, a bit tight.. but it fits)...My goal is still to lose another 10 lbs by the end of June...we'll see if it happens! ;)

..and this is how it's going...

...in all honesty, I'm ready to QUIT this STUPID diet!...

I've had way too many "I don't want to do this anymore" kind of moments... I feel miserable sometimes... I feel HUNGRY... and I feel CRANKY! I guess that sums up what has been going on in my diet world lately..

I have, however, been able to stick to my diet and have continued to lose a few pounds.. I haven't weighed myself so I don't have an official number, but there has been progress...I'm guessing I've lost around 10 lbs?

My next official weigh-in is scheduled for Wednesday, so I'll update about that then!

Despite how hard this is, I have managed to be consistent and have resisted eating sweets, bread, rice and other yummy stuff! Honestly, I don't know how I've managed to do that.. it is HARD.. it is HORRIBLE!

I'm not going to lie.. I hate this! ha! It's hard to be an inspiration to other people when I feel like this, but I think it's part of the process....

I promise I'll try to keep it up! ;)

Day 7 and first official weigh in

Today marks day 7 of my diet program and it was a happy day!

I struggled with hunger and cravings today, but I was able to deal with my issues with the vitamins and fluid intake...

I felt down for part of the day and felt very exhausted...I guess it's part of the physical shock I'm going through!

My 2nd appointment at the weight loss center was scheduled for 4pm.. by 2pm I was already very anxious for my first official weigh-in...

I got there and and went straight to the scale... I have lost a total of 6 lbs... in just one week... I felt really good about myself and definitely encouraged...

I met with the doctor and broke down in tears when he started talking about all the life style changes I still need to make.. oh well.. it was bound to happen...

This is the last day I will log my food, since it is no longer needed.

This is what I ate today:

Breakfast:

1 egg

1/4 cup 1% cottage cheese

12 grapes

Lunch:

6 oz of grilled fish

1/2 cup mushrooms

1/2 cup red peppers

1 peach

Snack:

1 Baby Bell cheese

Dinner:

5 oz of grilled chicken

1 cup green peppers

1 cup onions

Total protein servings: 14

Total glycemic carbohydrates: 5

From here on, my updates will probably not be as frequent, since I need to focus my energy on the actual diet and exercise routine!

Day 6

I have made it to Day 6 without breaking my extreme diet.. I'm proud of myself and feel very accomplished...

Things are getting easy and definitely more tolerable... I'm starting to learn about the nutritional quality of some foods as well as the importance of keeping a low-fat diet...

Sometimes I feel sad and have a hard time explaining why I feel so... I've started to be pretty open about my emotions in regards to my weight gain and have started to step out of the denial phase..

I have come to accept myself and also to embrace this lifestyle change, which I'm sure will bring so many wonderful things for myself and my family....

This is what I ate today:

Breakfast:

1 egg

1 oz of fat free cheddar cheese

Snack:

1 peach (yum!)

Lunch:

6 oz of grilled snapper

1 cup of grilled mushrooms

Snack:

1 Baby Bell cheese (1 gm of fat)

Dinner:

4.5 oz of grilled chicken

1 cup of grilled mushrooms

1 sugar free jello

Total protein servings: 13.5

Total glycemic carbohydrates: 3

I have my 2nd appointment at the weight loss center tomorrow at 4pm... I'm so nervous about my first weigh-in and so anxious to see if I've lost any weight this week.. Wish me luck!

Day 5

Day 5 was good!! Thank God it's getting easier...I feel so much better already!
I had a hard time waking up today since we went to bed so late last night, but I quickly got into my dieting self and went for my vitamins and breakfast...I wasn't that hungry, but I know breakfast is key when talking about good nutrition, so I ate...
I went grocery shopping in the evening and felt very encouraged, because I realized there's a bunch of stuff that I like that I can actually eat and include in my diet, like fat free cheese, peaches and even hot dogs (without the bread, that is).. Yay for that!
I did not experience any hunger or cravings today, which is awesome as well..
This is what I ate today:
Breakfast:
1/2 cup of plain greek style yogurt (yuk, I won't be doing this again...it was nasty!)
12 grapes
Lunch:
6 oz of grilled chicken
1 cup of mixed red peppers and onions
Snack:
1 fat free jello
Dinner:
5 oz of grilled chicken
1 oz of mushrooms
1 baby bell light cheese
1 peach
Total protein servings: 14
Total glycemic carbohydrates: 4
Thanks so much for the words of encouragements and positive thoughts from my dear friends.. It is people like you that make it all worth it and fun! Thank you a million times!

Day 4

Today was day 4 of my extreme diet... I must say it's slowly getting easier, but I still find myself thinking of eating a piece of chocolate or having some ice cream... I guess it's normal.. I'm so torn.. sometimes I feel like a failure for having to go through this but some other times I feel really accomplished for sticking to my plan...

I find myself crying sometimes.. not sure why but it happens... I hope this journey becomes more enjoyable as time progresses..

I have my second appointment at the center this week, which means my first weigh-in a a brief overview of last week's blood work.

This is what I ate today:

Breakfast:

2 eggs with HAM! (a little change there)

Snack:

12 grapes

Lunch:

6 oz of grilled fish

1 cup of broccoli

1/2 cup of onions

Dinner:

5 oz of grilled fish

1 string of mozzarella cheese

12 grapes.

Total protein servings: 15

Total glycemic carbohydrates: 4

Day 3

Hello day 3!...

The good news: I passed my urine test!! woo hoo!! That translates into adding 6 servings of fruits and vegetables to my horrible diet! Yay for that!

I was a little less than miserable today, but it still wasn't fun... I can't imagine myself not having a slice of pizza or a chocolate in who knows how much time! Oh well... I don't even want to think about it!

Emotionally, this is VERY hard.. I feel depressed, down, whinny...and a whole bunch of other feelings that are hard to describe...

This is what I ate today:

Breakfast:

2 eggs (I MUST find an alternate breakfast)

Snack:

12 grapes

Lunch:

5 oz of grilled chicken

1/2 cup of green peppers

Snack:

12 grapes

1 fat-free jello

Dinner:

6 oz of grilled tilapia

1/2 cup of green peppers

Total protein servings: 13

Total glycemic carbohydrates servings: 3

Note: I still had room for 1 more protein serving and 3 more glycemic carbohydrates. The allowed amount is 14 and 6, but I felt just fine with what I ate! Yay me!

Let's see what tomorrow brings! I assume weekends are the toughest!

Day 2

Bummer! I failed my urine test, which made today HELL!

I'm starving...it's crazy! The appetite suppressants help, but they can't change my feelings or my instincts...

Failing the urine test meant that I couldn't add anything to my diet for today, so I stuck to protein only....torture!!!

We went out to the casino at night and ate at the food court...While Iggy and the girls were enjoying some nice ground beef with rice, beans and plantains., I was eating a plain piece of chicken, which tasted even worse in my mind than it actually was...

Iggy then bought some honey roasted pecans and had the nerve to offer me some... uggh! "Thanks for the support, honey!"...I know he didn't do it on purpose, but my hungry self thought otherwise!

This is what I ate today:

Breakfast:

2 eggs.. (I'm sure I'll get sick of eggs pretty soon)

Lunch:

4.5 oz of grilled tilapia

1 string of mozzarella cheese

Snack:

1 string of mozzarella cheese

Dinner:

6 oz of grilled chicken

Total protein servings: 14

I really hope I pass the urine test tomorrow!! Today was really bad!

Day 1

I'm calling this my "Extreme Diet" and that will be how I refer to it throughout this journey... sounds fun, right???

So today was day 1 of my extreme diet... it was fun...NOT!

I struggled a bit, especially with my emotions... I feel like a failure for having to diet, I hate the fact that I can't eat like a "normal" person... maybe because I don't have self-control?

"How did I get here?", was the question that was in my head all day long... "what did I do to get this fat?"... was another question that popped in my mind... oh well..

I know there is no going back and I WILL DO THIS...

The first stage of the diet is a "protein only" phase..On Friday I need to test my urine for ketones and if I pass the test, I can add glycemic carbohydrates (vegetables and fruits) to my diet.. If I don't, I have to test again on Saturday and so on...

I also have to drink a gallon of fluids a day (preferably water)...that's a tough one!

This is what I ate today:

Breakfast:

2 eggs

Lunch:

5 oz of grilled chicken

1 string of mozzarella cheese

Dinner:

4 oz of grilled chicken

1 string of mozzarella cheese

1/4 cup of greek style yogurt (plain)

Total protein servings: 14

Today was rough!! I hope I pass that urine test tomorrow!

First appointment

Today was my first appointment at the weight loss center and I am feeling challenged and upset.

As expected, the first thing the doctor did was weigh me...yes...awkward! I am currently at 178.5 lbs with a BMI of over 41%, needless to say, super unhealthy and depressing...

They did an EKG to check for cardiac activity and assess blood flow and also some measurements and blood work...that was easy...

Then I went into a counseling session with a nutritionist, who went over the expectations for the diet and other details of the program...I got a B12 shot and that was that!

In addition to the diet, I will be taking some vitamin supplements as well as prescription appetite suppressants, which will help me curve my hunger and cravings!

The weight chart suggests I should lose 50+ lbs, but the doctor said that chart is very "aggressive" so we won't really set a specific target just yet! My personal target is 135 lbs, which is the ideal weight in my mind, so we'll see! I'm currently a tight size 10 and would like to be a 6, maybe even a 4.

I'm scheduled to start my diet tomorrow... we'll see how that goes!

It's time for a serious DIET!

I've been thinking about my self image for quite a while.. I think how I feel is very important to how I act and how I carry my life...

I am 29 years old and currently weigh almost 180 lbs, I'm in a tight size 10 (verging on a 12), I am embarrassed to wear a bathing suit, shorts or even a skirt...

It is such a pain for me to step on a scale, to try on new clothes and even to look at myself in the mirror....

I know some of you might think I'm exaggerating, however, this IS how I feel and no one can change that, except for ME!

For a while I've been noticing that my poor self-image has affected my mood, has made me irritable and even neglectful towards my feelings...

So, I've decided to start a diet...not just any diet, but a doctor-led diet. This diet will allow me to feel accountable as well as guided through this journey, which I'm sure will be long and painful...

I have decided to seek help from University Wellness and Weight Loss Centers and my first appointment is scheduled for June 1st. I will go on my trip to Las Vegas and come back to this challenge!

Wish me luck!

The reason for this blog...

It took me a while to get here... a while to accept that I am overweight and don't feel well about it... it took me a while to realize that my excess weight was affecting my mood, my character and even my choices...

Some of you follow my main blog, so you may or may not be aware of how this new blog came about, so here's the story...of the short version of it!

I wrote this post about my feelings and that was the day I decided to be open about my struggle with being overweight...that was the day I felt I really need to make a change...

This blog will be raw, personal and intense...it will chronicle my journey to a skinnier version of myself as well as the struggles that I will face (because I know I will), and the end result (which hopefully will be happy one).

I will attempt to post pictures of my progress, and hopefully I will get inspired to stay on track!

I appreciate in advance all the moral support from my friends and followers....